Choosing Delayed Gratification!

I've been meaning to write this for two weeks now but just couldn't seem to find the time.  Or energy.  Honestly, it's been a bit warm and muggy, which is not what summer is usually like here, so I just want to veg out next to the AC.

Anyway, on to Nicholas.

We all love instant gratification, you do something and you get a reward.  But most people, I think, learn pretty young that there is also value in delayed gratification and that sometimes waiting just a little more is better and totally worth it.  I have seen that most of the other kids Nicholas' age began learning this at around 5-ish.  Not Nicholas.


One of the things that Nicholas' report card said was that he does very well with instant rewards.  And he does.  If X happens you'll get Y works much better than if X happens you'll get Z this weekend.  Even when Z is "better" than Y.  The only exception to this is when the delay is in a time span that is predictable and he can measure.  For instance, "After you wake up in the morning and after we have breakfast, we will go to Target and I will get you an Ice-e" where he knows knows he will have to go to bed, wake up, eat, and get ready to leave before we actually leave and that we will need to take a bus before we get to Target is easier for him to understand and accept than "I will get you an Ice-e tomorrow" where tomorrow is any time after waking and the day is so long (he still has no concept of time) so it could be a very very long wait.  Also, Ice-es are Target exclusives so he has some certainty of it actually happening since we have to go to Target.

Two weeks ago I had to go to Target.  There is an IHOP next to the Target we go to and I really wanted some pancakes.  Unfortunately, I had bought pizza the night before and he ALWAYS wants pizza for breakfast when there is leftover pizza.  He likes IHOP but it's not a "favourite" like pizza.  So I thought, I'll get him his pizza and while he eats I'll get ready and we'll go to IHOP and he can have a dessert and I'll have my pancakes.  We all win!  So I go to tell him that we are going to Target and I want IHOP.  Just out of curtesy I ask him, "Do you want pizza now or do you want to have IHOP pancakes and pizza when we get home for dinner?"  To my shock he thought about it for a few seconds and said he wanted IHOP and pizza later.  It was very exciting to hear!!

I don't know what contributes to his sometimes extreme preference for instant reward/gratification over delayed even when the final reward is obviously better.  But this small choice gives me hope that he will learn to properly weigh his options sooner rather than later.  This is an important skill that is essential for independent living (use my whole paycheque now on this thing I want and I'll figure out rent later or put aside some money so I can buy this thing I want in some time and still be able to pay my rent) so it gives me some hope that it will happen someday.