NOV07 7.0 - "Nicholas"

WOW!  He is SEVEN years old and I am in disbelief!  It just doesn't feel like it has really been that many years.  He is now more than half my size and that still amazes me every time I notice.  Granted, I'm short so that's not very tall and he is still the shortest first grader in his school.  But still, DUDE!  Pretty soon he'll be my size, and that's not an exaggeration.  I am happy I have a growing child, my wallet is begging him to slow his growing.

On his birthday we went to Disneyland and we stayed late so that he could watch the fireworks.  He is now tall enough for a lot of the larger rides and he enjoys those.  On Sunday we had cake and pizza with grandma and parents.  This coming Saturday he will have his birthday party at his aunt's and finish off his birthday month celebration with Thanksgiving.

His 6th year was packed with all sorts of experiences and new things and changes.  Not all were good.  We have learned a lot this past year and grown a lot:

Academically: Kindergarden was hard.  He started the year at a typical school in a normal kindergarden class.  It was quickly learned that not only was he not thriving in that environment but that that teacher was horrible.  I meant to post that story when it happened but every time I re-visit it I just get angry.  In short she was abusive and constantly had him punished and hit him.  She kept her job.  We had him evaluated, he had an IEP done and was changed to a school in a higher socio-economic neighbourhood where he was placed in a moderate/mild kindergarden/1st grade special education class.  Since then he has advanced by leaps and bounds.  He is now in 1st grade in that same classroom and still progressing academically.  We had a parent/teacher conference yesterday and we were very pleased by what we were told.  No, he is not "at level" with other 1st graders but he has made progress.  That is all that matters to me, that he is learning.  The pace doesn't matter.  He has three deaf children in his classroom part of the day (this school has a special program for children who are hard of hearing) so he is being exposed to sign language and has shown an interest.

Socially:  I am very impressed in this area.  I always thought he would be the quiet, shy kid that always wanted to be left alone and not know how to properly deal with other children.  The teacher tells us that he has friends at school and he plays with them and shares with them and cooperates with them.  He has the normal kid fights with them about who's turn it is and how a game should proceed.  He even has a couple of deaf friends and asks the teacher how to sign things so he can talk to them.  While he is still an overall shy kid, just try talking to him if he's never seen you before, he does hold conversations with people and is generally polite

Behaviourally:  This area could use some improvement but we're working on it.  Most of his behaviours are autism related so I'm not overly concerned with it, we just have to keep working on it.  He does have a hitting problem at school and that is currently our biggest concern and what we are focusing on.  He has his quirks and we do get frustrated but it could be so much worse.  I keep having to remind myself of that.  His teacher has a four colour system which seems to work so we have adopted that starting this week so there are new home rules and procedures which we told him were happening because he was seven and older now.  He responded really well to the Melissa & Doug calendar we got last year so we got their chore chart to work on these behaviour issues.  We'll see how this goes.

We worry a lot about behaviour, a lot more than anything else.  Not because we want a well behaved child.  While that is great, we're not looking to get any mommy of the year awards for his behaviour.  Autism, specifically his level which would be considered Aspergers before they got rid of it, is mostly behavioural.  He is fully capable of learning all the basics like reading, writing, math, and science.  Even on a more than just proficient level.  But as he gets older, and once he is an adult, that won't help him if he cannot behave appropriately.  And that is our big concern.  We would hate for him to not be able to function in society because any kind of change causes a freak out or he can't sit reasonably still on a chair.  He can't get angry and hit the nearest person or object.  We want him to succeed in life as best as he can and hope he can have some level of independent living.  That simply will not happen if he doesn't learn how to behave.

Nicholas has a sensory disorder that affects his behaviour.  The teacher has found some things that helps him with his sensory issues in the classroom, including a chew toy!  I had no idea they made chew toys for children but after seeing what he uses in class we looked online and there they were, chew toys specifically made for children that must be constantly chewing on things.  We will definitely be using some of those things at home too.

Emotionally: Nicholas has always been a sensitive child and this year he has shown a high level of sensitivity and empathy towards others.  This is very important since it is common for autistic children to not show neither.  There are times, however, when his moods seem to shift quickly and drastically from one moment to the next, and that is concerning.  But he is generally happy and everyone else sees that as well.

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My goals for Nicholas this year are for him to continue making progress academically, get him some help with his anxiety and sensory disorder, and to see improvements in his behaviour.  I hope I am not asking too much of him, he has a lot on his plate to deal with.

My goal for myself in regards to Nicholas is to focus on the positive a lot more.  I tend to only see what needs to be fixed, what we need to work on, and I don't give any credit to what he can do and what he has achieved.  With that in mind I have started a second blog called Daily Nicholas in which I will be posting a picture every day about something good or positive with Nicholas.  I am hoping this will help me focus on the positive and give me something to think about when I am frustrated.

Every year I get sad at "losing" the child I had for an older one and that is definitely not looking at the positive.  So this year I am calling him my upgrade.  He is my November 2007 child on it's 7th upgrade of my specific model called Nicholas: NOV07 7.0 - "Nicholas."  I hope to post more often about my little model and the new abilities and features he comes with.