Today I was attacked, scratched in my face, neck, arms, and hands. I was attacked by Nicholas.
A tantrum over not getting his way turned really violent turning our visit to The Happiest Place On Earth into a scary ordeal.
It started during the flag retreat ceremony. We do this ever time we go, it's something I feel we need to do and it is by far not the first time we do it. He accidentally lost his soothie during the ceremony and it rolled in front of the conductor. It wasn't even in his mouth, he had it in his hand, and he wanted to go get it. I told him he had to wait and he was not happy with that. He started throwing a tantrum over it but I stood firm that he had to wait. It would have been easy to just let him go get it but they're paranoid there with their performers and I know having him approach the conductor was going to cause issues with them, even if for the briefest moment. And really, he could wait. It was almost over. Patience, right? So I told him that if he did not calm down and wait he would not get to go play on the firetruck like he wanted to. He did not calm so when it was over and he had his soothie I told him we were not going to play on the fire truck and we were going home. All hell broke loose.
I could not control him, could not get him into the stroller to strap him down. He was kicking and screaming and scratching me wherever he could reach. And he reached quite a bit. It was right after the ceremony so cast members were still around and one came over to us. She probably thought I was trying to kidnap him or something. She tried talking to him. I tried talking to him. Nothing was working. Finally I got him strapped into the stroller but it didn't help much. He was trying to get out and even though he cannot unbuckle the straps he was able to wiggle out of the harness part. It's a stroller, not a car seat, this was fairly easy for him to do. Once he wiggled out he tried climbing out which made the stroller move and almost tip over. So I got him back in the harness which resulted in more scratches. I tried tightening all the straps as tight as I could, but this has never been needed so the straps were stiff. Another cast member came by but he was also afraid to get too close to what looked like a possessed child. He suggested tilting the stroller back so that he had no choice but to lay back so I did and he finally gave up. I pulled down the shade cover as far as it went and it seemed to help. We left and while we waited for the bus he fell asleep.
I have tried figuring out what could have caused this. He could have been tired, he does nap daily but usually does well without naps too, just ends up in bed earlier. But that still could have been it, tired and over stimulated. Maybe he just needed some comfort, we left without a lovey today. It's not that I didn't want him to take one. We were at the door, already running a few minutes late, and he had a dolphin in one hand and the Enterprise in the other. I told him he could not take both, meaning he had to leave one, but he put both down and walked out the door. I wasn't about to start suggest items for him to take so I walked out too. Maybe if he had had a lovey he would have been able to soothe himself better or take a nap earlier. It's really hard for him to sleep without it. It wasn't that I threatened and he was not expecting me to follow through. I tend to follow through with my warnings. Maybe playing on the firetruck was a much bigger deal to him than I thought. Or maybe it was the leaving part that upset him even though he kept saying he wanted to go to the firetruck. We didn't do all the usuals because we did a lot of non-usuals so he felt incomplete.
The truth is that I really don't think it was any of those things because it's not the first time he attacks me. He's done it several times, I think we're down to at least once a week right now. Until today, this had only happened at home and it never got this bad. But at home I lay him on the ground and get away. He then either just throws a tantrum on the floor or runs to his bed. Laying him on the hot pavement and walking away really wasn't an option. I have tried to think of what could be causing such a reaction for weeks now. I can't come up with anything. Well, with anything other than work. This started right after I started working.
It is very hard for me to see my baby so angry. His scream is one of pure anger, he gets red and shakes and purposely and maliciously digs his nails in wherever he can and scratches. He has no preference just whatever is in reach. Face, arms, neck, hands. I want to talk to him but does not hear me and I fear putting my face close to him. The cause is usually something typical of any tantrum such as not getting something he wants or not getting his way. But this is not new and normal tantrums I can deal with. They are usually him crying, screaming, and kicking but at nothing in particular. I can leave him be and he will throw his tantrum and eventually just stop. But this is different. I can't just let him be because he will not let me. As soon as he goes for scratching my first instinct is to grab his hands and as soon as I let them go to walk away they are going for me again. I have to literally get him on his back before I can walk away, which is hard when he is thrashing so violently and I have to keep his hands restrained. I don't like doing this. I know restraining him only angers him more but it's either that or get scratched.
I am at a loss as to how to deal with this and what is causing it and I fear that if I can't fix this soon I'm in for a lifetime of trouble.
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