I need to start with a disclaimer: I am not judging the parenting of anyone. The things I have observed are not 'bad' just interesting.
Of all my friends on facebook between 70%-75% of them are parents with kids of various ages with 60 of those having kids the same age as mine (give or take a month or so). So I get to see a pretty good sample of what other kids the same age as my own are doing and, for the most part, they're doing the same things as mine. One thing that is not the same is some of the things these kids say or talk about.
Nicholas isn't very talkative like most of them. He likes to keep to himself and will hold very small conversations with your, mostly about whatever he is doing at the moment or a big trip the previous day and with a lot coaxing. He won't go up to you and just start talking. Well, he will, but it will be about whatever is happening at the moment. He talks a whole lot but mostly during imaginative play or commentary. Blind people on the bus do not miss out on any sights when Nicholas is on board. I know that most other kids talk more and in a different fashion but Nicholas was always a lazy speaker and he isn't behind so I don't worry.
What strikes me odd about these other kids is some of the things they talk about and I am left wondering how they learn these things. So if you have any insights, please share! I really am just curious since I don't see Nicholas talking about some of these things any time soon.
Boyfriends
I think this almost exclusively a girl topic but there may have been a boy with a future wife at some point. I've read about these 3 (and under) year olds mentioning boyfriends, husbands, and marriage. Now, I understand that in a traditional home mom and dad are together and married and that may be something a little girl aspires to do. Or maybe they aren't married and are just boyfriend and girlfriend. But is this something discussed a lot? How does it come up? "Mommy and daddy are married" seems like an odd thing to talk about to a child unless something triggered that conversation. And little girls having 'stars' for boyfriends also confuses me. How do they learn about that concept? Unless mom has a string of boyfriends (which none of these moms do) how does a small child learn about boyfriends and that you love them and want to be with them? If the answer to all these is TV then yeah, no way Nicholas will understand it for a while. I keep his TV viewing very limited to preschool aged stuff. But if it isn't just TV, I am curious how this happens.
Death
This isn't as common as the boyfriends but I've seen it a couple of times, including in a video that went viral not too long ago. I can see a child that young learning about death if a close family member or pet died and thus it had to be explained in some fashion. And when that happens, how do you explain it? I've imagined myself having this conversation with Nicholas right now and I do not know how I would explain it. It's a very abstract concept and I don't know how I would explain it to anyone of any age, really. On the other hand, if no one has died, how do they learn about it and understand it in such a clear way? Is the answer TV again? That may actually be disturbing because that would mean they've seen quite of bit of people dying on TV to get it. Well, at least it seems like it. I don't see Nicholas understanding it from watching one or two people die on TV.
Why?
I don't think Nicholas even understands what I mean when I ask him 'why?' He has never asked me that question yet it seems to be very popular with this age group. He asks a lot of 'What's that?' And I think that's all the asking he does. No when or how either. Not that I'm complaining! So how do kids learn to ask? Hmmm.....
Lying
This is another rare one but one I've seen a couple of times. Lying with the purpose of deceit and 'getting away' with something. Nicholas has yet to lie to me about anything. If I ask him 'who did this?' or 'did you do this?' he will simply look at me with a guilty face if it is something he knows not to do. If it was something he didn't know wasn't allowed (and I don't sound upset) he will admit to it. I do expect this to change, I think lying is something all kids do at one point, but it's also learned. So how? With older siblings I can see it being learned quickly. But what other ways is it learned?
Emotions
This one is something that I think may just be my kid. The other kids seem to be able to communicate their emotions. Nicholas went through a phase about a year ago when he would say 'I'm happy!' but hasn't done it since nor does he verbally express any other emotion. He understands what they mean, if I ask him if he is happy or sad or ok he will answer with yes or no. Having him tell me what he is feeling would be useful, though I've become an expert at reading what he is feeling.
For now I leave this short list as is. I'm sure there is more but it's difficult to think when it's almost dinner time and the kiddo is hungry.
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